Scars
by L.R.Kingley
Summary: Nico hasn't been well. He has nightmares and suicidal thoughts, but he has no one to turn to. Poor Nico just can't see himself happy anymore. Taking responsibility, Percy Jackson 'kidnaps' Nico di Angelo in effort to make him see a better day. A beach trip full of drama, awkward teenage crushes and emotional turmoil, the two start to question some parts of themselves.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is a new story. I know there are a million and two Pericos but I am joining this bandwagon (even though I am more Jasico). This chapter is kinda short but it's a kick off to something even bigger and better and sweeter and melodramatic so stick around and read the rest. Also, check out my other stories :) okay, thanks. Be good, be safe. **

The hard laugh of the familiar King Minos only made the grip he had on me worse. His fingers were tangled in my hair and he pulled with such a power. I bite my lips until they bleed to keep from crying out loud because I couldn't dare to show any weakness. I spent months with King Minos and I knew what he could do to me.

"Does it hurt?" His grip got harder and harder, "Do you want to cry out boy? Answer me!" I didn't open my mouth. I couldn't let him win.

The dead King started to walk, dragging me behind him by my hair. I tried to stand and walk besides him, I tried to keep up. His stride was long and fast and I ended up being pulled like meat on the floor where my legs became bloodied. I couldn't fight King Minos and I couldn't scream so I let what happen happen. I knew where he was taking me, I could feel another unholy being pulling on me and it was all too familiar.

Tartarus.

I tried so hard to keep quiet, but the fear was too real. I released my bloody lip, "Let go of me! Let me go, you worthless king!" That was the wrong thing to say.

King Minos lifted me until I was eye level with him, "Worthless king? I died loved and important. I was great and powerful and what are you? A curse. Everything you love dies or hates you." He smiled knowing he won as tears rolled down my face. "This is what you deserve."

With one great thrust, King Minos pushed me back and I started to fall, and fall, and fall.

Then I screamed so loudly that it crossed over from a dream to real life. I was awake. It was only a dream, just a dream. Still the feeling of pain and fear were still with me. Instinctively, I reached under my mattress to get a small knife. Gently and swiftly, I swiped it across my wrist just deep enough to let it bleed.

I swiped once, twice, third and a final fourth. I watched the blood slowly build up and run down my arm. The stinging sensation and the itching feeling from the blood on my skin was sickly satisfying and calmed me.

"What are you doing Nico?" I said out loud, like I would answer myself. After a few minutes, I bandaged my damaged skin where my new cuts and many old scars were. I took a breath and sighed, "I miss you Hazel."

* * *

At camp, after a good work out with dangerous people and weapons in full armor, you tend to sweat. Since Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood were conjoined, I could train with anyone (who doesnt know me). I have no idea who I trained with today, but I won.

Without thinking, I took off my helmet and poured cold water on my already set hair. Someone once told me that when I did this, steam rose up from my hair. A side effect from having my father's somber hair. While cooling myself down, Leo took adventage of my overheated state.

"Hey Nico," he smiled, "long time, no see. Where have you been?"

I looked away, trying not to give Leo eye contact. Usually, people feel too estranged to talk when you can't look at their face, but maybe Leo knew me too well for that to work. "Hey Leo. I have been around," I had to think of something natural, "Haven't you seen me? I have seen you around."

"Nope, but I have been in the forge a lot too." A had a moment of relief. "But I talked to Percy, and he hasn't talked to you since..." Leo hesitated and I looked at him. His face finished his sentence for him, "Well since Annabeth switched to Camp Jupiter."

_Smooth Leo_, I thought,_ you liar._

"Leo, Nico, what's up," a exhausted voice called from behind.

"Hey Percy! Jason said he was gonna iris call, did you catch him?" Leo responded.

Percy laughed, "Nope, been outside all day." His attention was turned to me, a rare sight now and days. "Hey Nico."

I simply muttered hello back. I couldn't talk to Percy, couldn't even look at him. Not since he Hazel's funeral. My mind was a mess and my heart was pounding out of my chest I swear people around me could hear it. I didn't know if it was a side effect of anxiety or just from being near Percy.

"Were you just training? Maybe we can spar together, maybe make some bets?" Percy was really trying with me, but I just couldn't let him in.

"I actually was going to soak in a bath. Talk later guys." I started to walk off before Leo could finish awkwardly saying bye.

The camp bathes were literally a row of tubs with curtains next to the showers. They were hardly used for anyone but son of Ares and Hetpheteus in the boys bathroom, but the girls all shared the baths in the girl washroom.

Washroom, geez I just dated myself. It was noticeable at times that I wasn't from this generation. I am not even young enough to father this generation. Grandfather it might be more accurate. Just one more thing.

Pulling the curtain, I started a warm bath and stripped off my armor and under clothes. I stopped at my bandana which was wrapped over my cuts and scars. I debated whether to take it off and I decided to remove it after a minute.

Shaking from the sweat drying off of me, I stepped into the bath and started to decompress. My muscles started to release, and I closed my eyes. I wish I didn't get in the bath because it relaxed me too much. I started to get into my deeper darker part of my mind. Questioning important things in my life, like it's very meaning. Sadly, I found nothing.

I have had these feelings before and I wish I didn't. I didn't necessarily want to die, but I wanted to be at peace. This time was different some how. More powerful, more real. I looked down in my own bath.

Slowly, I lowered my head under the water. It was warm and calming under water. I stayed there and made sure to be completely still as bubble escaped from my lips and surfaced. Each bubble was a bit of my life. I had an eerie sensation when the last bubble pushed past my upper lip and surfaced.

I have never had a near death experience like this before. Things were a lot different then being chased by a monster and I wasn't sure what to expect. I hear a noise, but shook it off as my imagination.

I shouldn't have.

Something grabbed my chin and pulled me out of the water. I spit water out and wiped it from my eyes before I look to see who it was. Some green doe eyes looked down on me in shock. Percy was holding my helmet in his arm and his lip was quivering a bit.

He unplugged my bath and picked up my towel for me. I didn't want Percy to see me naked. I pleasured myself to the thought of him seeing me naked, but this was not the situation and it only made things intimidating and awkward.

Still shaking from pulling me out of the water, Percy wrapped me in my towel and began to rub it on me to dry me. I didn't move and I didn't know what to say. What do I do now? What does Percy do? I don't think he has ever met someone who was suicidal. Will he go to Chiron?

Percy stopped rubbing my body and grabbed my arm. He must have seen my blemishes, and I tried to pull my wrist away to spare him but Percy was stronger. Cautiously, he ran his finger down over my scars.

Then he looked up to me. His eyes were beginning to get cloudy, "Nico...why haven't you...how..." It was difficult to see Percy lose his composer, "I am sorry Nico."

That did it for me, and I started to cry to. Percy let go of my hand and trotted out of the bathhouse. Cold and crying, I tried to think of what I had done.

I was broken, ever since Bianca died and only got worse since Hazel died. I know I wasn't okay, I wasn't the same person. I accepted that. Percy, however, was the same Percy after all these years, just better.

But I think in that moment, I broke Percy just like how he broke me all those years ago.

And so I wept from my crime.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I am sorry this is taking me so long to update. I am having a lot go on in my life and I feel really bad. I will not leave these stories unfinished though, I promise. Be good, be safe, share my stories. PLEASE SHARE MY STORIES! Love you guys, see you soon.**_

"GOOD MORNING, DI ANGELO," a very loud Percy awakened me with 2 suitcases hitting the floor. "Sorry to wake you, but we have a big day and you have to pack. Pack for 2 weeks at the beach. I'll be back in 3 hours." And as abruptly as he came in my cabin he left while I was still rubbing my eyes.

What was that about?

* * *

Somehow I blindly followed Percy in a car with two suitcases packed for 2 weeks. I didn't bother to ask where we were going or what was happening. I just looked out the window, probably because I couldn't look at Percy. I had so much shame for letting him see me so weak. I sat awkwardly with my hands in my lap and eyes staring into space. Percy could clearly see I was not okay.

"Are you with me, Nico?" Percy reached over and put his hand on my knee and rubbed it. "You are quiet, and your face is really red."

"Yeah, well I am being kidnapped. How am I supposed to feel?" Frantically, I swatted Percy's hand away so I could stop blushing.

"Well don't you want to know where we are going?" Percy smiled.

"I guess. Where are we going?"

"I can't tell," Percy laughed. I decided to stop talking about it and stare out the window some more. Getting carsick was better then trying to figure out Percy Jackson. "There it is! My beach cabin."

I looked over to see an old, almost abandoned cabin that must had been made in the seventies and had hardly anything worth value about it. "This is yours?"

He smiled, "For the next few weeks, yeah. You okay with this?" Percy made these big puppy eyes, the same ones he used to make me pack and I dumbly nodded. "Well, let's go unpack, then we can get the groceries," Percy went on and on about things we could do with a goofy smile that flashed his slightly off front teeth. He was so happy to be here at the beach cabin.

But I had a dilemma, "I am actually kind of tired. Is it okay if you go shopping and I just sleep?"

It was like looking at a puppy who was excited to have a ball thrown and realize that there is no ball at all. "Oh, okay. That's fine I suppose."

When Percy opened the cabin door, and it was worse on the inside then outside; cob webs on the ceiling and under the beds, which looked as comfortable as the floor. It has an abnormal smell like ocean and old fabric, and all the wood looked warped. I gave Percy a 'really' look and he smiled so proudly I melted and faked a smile.

"I love it here," Percy gently put his suitcase by a bed and I went to the one parallel to it. "I'll leave so you can sleep."

"Thanks," I said while climbing in bed.

* * *

Crouching, naked and shaking in a corner, I tried to hide my face from the people. I couldn't see them, but I heard them yelling and insulting me.

"Your spine is sticking out. It's disgusting."

"The hell is the matter with you? All you do is ruin things!"

"Do you think that you are the reason everyone you love dies?"

"What would your mother think if she knew her son was a faggot? How did she raise him?"

"It doesn't even matter what his father think because he doesn't care about him."

I started to get blurry eyed from crying. I tried to open my mouth to make it stop. I tried really hard to just take it, but I hated hearing it. I didn't know what to do.

As the voices continued, I slowly turned my head to see who was there only to see absolutely nothing. No one was there. Then I realized, the voices were my voice. I was saying those things. Then I read "Nico. Nico!" Another strange voice called my name. I closed my eyes and begged it to stop. "Please, Nico. Wake up," and a cold hand on my face startled me. Percy was looming over me, his thumb rubbing my wet cheeks. I quickly slapped his hand away and sat up to hide my face. Percy rubbed my back, making me have tingles where his fingers were, "What did you dream about?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Can you just leave me alone?" I muttered. I started to get up and leave, but instead he just leaned in me and wrapped his strong arms around me to get me to stay still.

Percy did what I never seen before, and furrowed his eyebrows. "Don't you fucking dare do that Nico. I neglected you for too long, but don't you shut me out." I didn't move while Percy held me for fear of what might happen afterwards. I could hardly breath in the shock of the moment. Eventually, I came to my senses and shook him off.

"I don't want your help Percy. I don't need you and I don't know why I am here. Just let me know when I am free to go."

I just got up to walk out of the nasty cabin when I heard Percy say, "I am not forcing you here. Leave if you want, but you don't want to. You want help, I know it."

"You don't know anything. You hardly know me!" It was the truth.

"Then stay, and let's get to know each other. Come on Nico, no one should feel that alone." I stopped, and felt a burning sensation in my wrist. I hated him talking about my cuts. "If you leave, you force me to tell the authorities."

"You would tell Chiron on me?"

"I didn't say Chiron," and like that, Percy won. There was no way I saw going to a funny farm, ever. I swallowed my pride, and turned back. "I only want to help you."

"Then shut up," I snapped and flopped on my bed.

Percy watch me from the doorframe, "Do you want me to sleep with you?" I felt a burst of panic and excitement, which got me stuttering, "I can move my bed over to yours, and it might help you sleep tonight if someone is there."

"Oh, sure," I am an idiot. "You don't have to. I don't care at all."

Percy smiled and moved his bed next to mine to sleep next time me. "What do you dream about?"

I shrugged, "Tartars."

"Me too," I didn't know Percy had nightmares too. "I am sorry for holding you down and cursing at you. I was just really frustrated. You are a lot stronger then you look."

"Yeah, people say that. I think I look really strong though, so it confuses me." I sat up on my knees and flexed my arms. Muscles that were hidden popped out of my biceps, triceps and forearm. Percy took it as a challenge and flexes his arm too, but I started to blush a little so I became a smart ass. "I see some flap on you."

He laughed, thankfully, "Are you drunk? Where?"

I lifted my shirt and bit the end, "Here." I showed Percy my hard earned six-pack and smiled.

"I have one too," then Percy lifted his shirt to show his abs to me. "My man-boobs are bigger then yours. I was probably crazier then you too. I once shot a bus with a canon." I called Percy stupid and laughed, something I haven't done in a while. "You have a nice smile Nico."

I awkwardly went back to my natural frown. "I find it hard to take you seriously when we aren't in the heat of battle. That's all."

Percy smiled now, the corners of his lips were held up by his dimples, "Walls are heavy, but its okay to let them down every once and a while."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey guys, hope you are all doing okay. Hope you all enjoyed Blood Of Olympus :) I won't ruin any of it in y story, don't worry. I started writing it before the book came out._**

**_Since the days of PJO and HOO have come to and end, I will finish Lover of the Sun and Scars and write ONE MORE PJO STORY. This doesn't mean I am done writing. I am actually getting more serious about my stories. I really want to get started on my novel soon. _**

**_Now here is what I need from you guys. I am writing one last story, any story and you guys can pick the pair and plot. I need to hear everyone's dream story, and I will pick which one to write. The best way to do this though, and have the perfect story, is to get as many ideas as possible, so SEND MY STORIES TO EVERYONE!_**

I was tearing up this shit cabin up looking for my scrapbook knife. I know I packed it, but it wasn't in my suitcase. I started ripping through Percy's bag as fast as I could. I assumed I only had about an hour until Percy returned from the store, and the urge was like a hurricane surrounding me and throwing me around. I need my knife and I was going to cut.

I was tossing Percy's clothes behind me, just making a mess all over. Shirts, shorts, pants, swim trunks, shampoo, and soap. I scattered it all over the place with no bias as to how to throw someone else's belongings because I just didn't care. I was violent in my searching. Until I saw it, my temptation.

A pair of boxer briefs comfortably tucked the edge of Percy's duffle bag. All the voices in my head said, "NO Nico, it's wrong, it's gross, it's rude. Just step away." How can I do that? I know what science and people say about being…gay, but my old 1940's mind said no no no. It's a conflict of generations, and it is literally burning me alive. Well, not literally.

I reached out and grabbed the seemingly perfect underwear. It was soft, and I knew it hadn't been worn since the last wash. I brushed my fingertips through the gentle cotton, and with a lot of guilt, became aroused. I brought the briefs to my face and took pleasure in the fact that Percy's balls were held in there. By the gods was I horny.

I forgot all about the knife, and lay back on the nasty cabin floor and indulged in my own pleasure.

* * *

"Hey, Nico. What are you doing outside? It is sunny and all. What if you tan?" Percy teased with a crazy ton of canned goods and Cheez-its. "Are you okay?"

"You are ruining my mojo Jackson. I am processing a fair amount of energy and into the sand to…go away." I didn't completely know if it was working, but I didn't have to urge to cut or masturbate so I think I was doing it right. "Join me? It might be able to help you forget about a certain blonde person whose name you whisper at night." I cracked an eye open to see Percy, thankfully, that my suggestion lightly. Percy put the bags down, and made himself comfortable by me. He did what I did, and close his eyes, bury his hands in the sand and sit still.

Two ADHD boys, sitting in silence and channeling energy was just impossible. We wiggled and sighed and I am sure Percy's mind wondered just as much as mine. Finally, Percy jumped up and grabbed my hand, "Let's go swimming."

"I have no trunks. I didn't pack any."

"So? We are alone." Then Percy began to strip all the way down to the boxers as if he enjoyed making me uncomfortable. Being alone with Percy was much worse then swimming naked in the germ, shit and fish filled ocean. Besides, what if Poseidon sees something bad?

"I rather not. I…" What was a good answer for not swimming with the son of Poseidon? "I got strung by a jelly fish last time I was in the ocean. I feel better on land." I forced a smile, which now that I think about it, made me look like a lair. "Wanna build a fire instead?"

Percy moaned because he really did want to go swimming, but I was too young to build a beach fire by law. So he sucked it up, and stayed in the sand with me to make a fire and cook some food.

Percy babbled on about all sorts of things. He talked about his mom and Paul and his trouble sleeping. Every now and then he would ask if he was boring or should stop talking. Of course I said he could keeping going and listened intently without a peep. I watched his pink lips and big cheeks, dreaming of letting mine brushing his lips. I wanted to kiss Percy every way possible. I wanted so desperately to lick his lips, nibble on his bottom lip, slip my tongue in his mouth, and make him mine.

Oh shit, I went too far. Naked grandma. Naked grandma. Naked grandma.

"We should invite Jason, or Frank. Leo is busy, of course," I realized Percy was still talking, but his words were becoming slurred. He was so tired, neither of us ever sleep well. "Wouldn't it be nice if someone else was here to help you? We are all your friends Nico, and we want to...help..." and like that, Percy faded into sleep on my shoulder. His breathing became a sweet rhyme as his chest slowly rose and fell. His neck must have been uncomfortable, so I nudged him just enough to move him to a more suitable position.

I didn't know if I wanted anyone else there, and I didn't know how to react to Percy's compassion. It gave me a warm feeling all over, but at the same time, it made all my cuts burn with guilt instead of my normal self hate and angry. I didn't know how to get help, but maybe I was too afraid to get help. I don't know if I can even be saved.

I hope I can be saved.

I hope Percy can save me.

Percy looked so peaceful in his sleep. I hoped he was dreaming about Annabeth so he would have sweet dreams.

I couldn't resist Percy. I leaned into Percy, so close I could fee his sweet breathe on my cheeks. I noticed Percy's eyelashes more then anything. They were so long and thin, and stared at them until I closed my eyes. My lips brushed against Percy's that explored into my body and made my every nerve tingle. Pressing my lips into him harder and harder until I was legitimately kissing Percy Jackson.

It was exciting, and my chest started to swell. I though I would burst from my stitches. It gave me more feeling then anything before. Better then cutting, eating real food, running, or play games.

I pulled away really quickly as to not wake Percy, but I wish I did wake him. Maybe he would wake up, realize he loves me, or is just curious, and kiss me back. But I am dreaming too much. I need to stop dreaming all the time. Its bad for health.

I smiled though. I did the one thing I always wanted to do, and I think my Percy cravings are done now.

Gently, I let my finger tips run on his skin to give him some comfort in hopes that it would make him feel good and sleep well. A part of me wish he had a good dream about Annabeth instead of a nightmare. The other part wished he dreamed of me, nightmare or sweet dream.


	4. Chapter 4

**I am wrapping up my PJO and HOO career soon. I am not sure if i should switch to something else or work on my own stuff. I don't know, its tough. What do you guys think? Also, I am finishing these current PJO and HOO stories, might do one about Sally and Poseidon and maybe something else that YOU GUYS PICK! SO DON'T FORGET TO PM SUGGESTIONS.**

**Also SHARE AND COMMENT AND STORY. I want to know what you guys think, and I want to know what as many people as possible think. Please guys 3 I would love you forever. And when you leave a comment, leave an useful comment. SHARE SHARE SHARE &amp; COMMENT &amp; PM!Thank you guys, love you, take care :***

Percy was never going to gay. Not for me, not for anyone. He was very caring and just a natural father. Percy looked after me in a way my own dad couldn't. He cooked for me as often as he could, even if he wasn't a good cook. He woke me when I had a bad dream, and glides his fingertips on my arm or back to give me those tingling sensations. Some nights were harder then others; some nights I didn't sleep at all and on those nights I would wake Percy when he had a nightmare. I was hoping that I would start to see Percy as a friend at some point, but I only fell farther for him.

Everyday Percy went and played in the ocean while I sat in the sand in my jeans and watched. The ocean water seemed to glisten off of his body, certain muscles bulged more then others and I watched as if I was under some spell. He looked like a perfectly scrupled Roman statue. "Nico," he would call at me from the waves, "join me. The water is perfect." Well of course the water was perfect he made it that way.

"I am okay on the beach," I would shout back. It had been 6 days and I knew at some point Percy would get tired of hearing that answer.

Percy ran back to me and shook his hair out in front of me, "I will just bring the water to you then," he teased.

"Don't get sassy Jackson. I bet anything I can kick your ass on land." I pushed Percy back with my foot and started to run away. Percy chased after me while I kicked sand up to keep him distant. I was too slow and Percy grabbed my waist and lifted me in the air just to throw me down even harder. We both burst into a wild laughter as we wrestled each other in the sand.

Suddenly my face really hurt and I tried to crawl away from Percy. He was imminently alarmed, "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's just…" I awkwardly started to rub my face, "My cheeks hurt."

Percy sighed with relief, "You aren't used to smiling, huh?" Percy reached out and dug his thumbs into my cheeks to help with the soreness. He asked if he was helping and I nodded the best I could with someone digging into my cheeks. "You know when you smile you almost look like the old Nico."

"What old Nico?"

"The one I first meet; he played mythomagic and smiled all the time and he was so excited about everything." Percy stared me dead in the eyes and I saw how serious he was. "I miss that boy. He was the sweetest thing."

I leaned away from Percy, "Well, he is dead." Percy frowned at my blunt negativity. I could tell I broke his heart, and seeing his pain made me want to cut. Somehow, the sick compulsion had disappeared for a while, but this situation, this horrible feeling inside for hurting Percy came back with a force. "Go swim Percy. I am going to sleep," I started my way to the shack, trying to look as calm as I could.

The moment I closed the door I began scanning the shack for my knife. I know Percy hid it somewhere in here; he wouldn't just throw it away. I had to examine more, under and over everything. I pulled Percy's bags out, looking in pockets and between shirts. I tried so hard to just keep a cool head and not start to panic even though I felt like I was going mad.

"Are you really doing this?" Percy asked, more annoyed then concerned. I didn't even bother to turn around and face him. I went on like Percy wasn't even there which he didn't like. "Nico, stop," he pleaded. When I still ignored him he tried to pull me off. "I don't have it Nico. I throw it away, so stop looking."

"You are full of shit. You can't understand but I need it."

Percy became frustrated and started to snap and yell at me. "No you don't. Just back away from my bags Nico so we can talk."

Percy suddenly sounded like a confidently ignorant man. "HA! Talking? Please. What has talking ever done for anyone?"

"What has hurting yourself ever done for you? What will killing yourself do? If you are unhappy here then you won't be happy there. Now get out of my things." Percy lounged at me and tackled me to the floor. I hit his chin with my elbow and heard the sound of his teeth smack together. This action was a rude awakening for Percy, and he backed off of me with this look I have never seen before then he reached under the bed, just under the mattress, and pulled out the knife. "If you do this, I won't and can't look at you the same way again."

Despite his threat, I snatched the knife from Percy and untied my bandana. Percy turned away, completely unwilling to see me. I was sloppy this time and my first cut was inconstant and curved. Something else was different about it too. It felt wrong and looking at the scars of my other cuts gave me a disgusting feeling. I cut myself a few more times, desperate for the relief that it used to offer me. When I realized that I wasn't going to feel better, I started to cry.

"I am sorry Percy," I said in a instinctive state. I didn't know what to do with all of these feelings hitting me at once, so I kept apologizing to Percy, "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry Percy." He didn't turn around at first; he was determined to teach me something. But I needed him, so I crawled next to him, "Percy, I am sorry. I am sorry. I need help. I need your help." I begged over and over again until Percy broke down and pulled me up next to him in effort to comfort me. I wailed like a baby into Percy.

It felt like days passed by while I cried, but it was only a few hours. It was still a lot for crying and when I started to calm down, I realized Percy was still in a swimsuit and I had gotten blood from my cuts all over his leg and the floor. It was an unfair situation for Percy. Slowly, I tried to get up from Percy's lap, but he held me there, convinced that I need to be still. I didn't notice before but while I was bleeding Percy took my bandana that hid my secrets and used it to stop the bleeding. He still had his thumb pressed against it even though it had surely stopped.

Cautiously, I looked up at Percy, "Do you hate me?"

"No, never. I was just mad earlier. I can't hate my Nico." Percy smile made a tingling feeling sweep over me as if he was my drug. "I just don't want you to hurt yourself Nico. I can't lose you."

"I am sorry."

"I know. I am too." Percy leaned in and pecked my forehead in the most harmless fashion. Yet something about the kiss didn't feel harmless.

Then it wasn't harmless at all when he took my cheeks, turned me to him and kissed me on the lips.

**Is it wrong to end there? MUAHAHAHAHA How should I take this? Awkward first love to make you squeal or confused rejection that ends in friendship? Hmm...**see you next chapter. ****


	5. Chapter 5

**Yeah, second story update in less than a month! HOORAY! Unfortunately, I have bad grammar, but I am getting better. I am trying to update more too. I promise I am trying to get better, but what really helps is hearing feedback and some support. What do you guys think? leave comments and pms. Share my story, spread the word. **

My face was literally dripping wet from crying, and my wrist was cut and covered in dried blood, yet the feeling of Percy's lips made it all melted away. The room was spinning and he tasted like salt from being in the ocean a lot. He smelled like the salty air too, but I didn't mind one bit. I felt like I was going to catch on fire where I was sitting. To say I was surprised that Percy kissed me was a serious understatement. Percy pulled away slow with a look I have only seen him give Annabeth, a look I really wanted him to look at me with. I know I must have wide eyes and red face and I covered my month is the shock. I backed farther and farther away from Percy's touch, "You…I…you…"

I backed farther and farther away from Percy's touch while being overtaken by guilt, "You…I…you…"

"Yup, I did," Percy smiled.

Most people would be excited when the most famous camper of the century kisses them or shows interest in them at all. Even after I had stopped crying, I pushed him away because I just couldn't tell why he had kissed me. Was it out of pity, curiosity or did he actually like me?

* * *

After locking myself in the bathroom, wrapped my cuts properly for the first time and cleaned the floor, I pulled apart all of my and bed from Percy's side. I felt so bad that I didn't feel right being near Percy anymore. He was silent the while I separated myself from him until it started to get a dark and I casually crawled in bed like we slept separately the entire time.

"Com'on Nico, why are you doing this? Didn't you want me to kiss you? Please, come share a bed with me, please," Percy whined in a way I never heard from him before. I stayed in bed and faked sleep while Percy paced agitatedly like a wild cat in a cage. It wasn't until Percy fell deep asleep that I realized why. Percy had night terrors when I slept with him and he would mostly toss and turn and moan then relax; this was nothing like that. The restless sleeping was replaced with uncontrollable shaking and words that begged for some sort of relief. It looked more like a seizure than sleep and I could only stand to watch probably my only friend go through this for just a few minutes.

I sat at the bedside and called his name in a sheepish way. In all honestly, I didn't want to wake him and watch him realize what is real and a dream because in my personal experience it can be a long and tough process. "Percy, wake up. You are having a night terror Percy, wake up." Percy just seemed to shake more every time I said his name. Eventually, I grabbed Percy's arm in hopes of pulling him up but I was hit in the nose instead and before I hit the floor Percy sat up from his sleep. "Whoa whoa whoa Percy, relax. It's okay, it's not real."

Percy had a heavy breath and looked around like he didn't recognize the cabin, "Annabe-oh gods, Nico. I am sorry-"

"I am fine Perc, are you okay?" I could see more clearly that Percy was covered in sweat and all his muscles we contracting and tense. His mind may have realized he is awake, but his body was still adjusting. I wrapped my arms around him to try to help, "It's okay, you are safe now. I am sorry I didn't sleep with you. I am here now."

"I just want to sleep," Percy moaned. Just as he commanded, I pushed him down back on the bed and climbed on top of him to keep him from shaking. I brushed my fingertips on his cheeks while carefully positioning my head so I wouldn't make him uncomfortable. I didn't have to look up to tell Percy hadn't fallen asleep and won't fall asleep. It was scary just to close your eyes after a dream like that. Just as the sun started to brighten the sky to a gray blue Percy whispered, "We are a pair of broken toys."

"What a pair, huh?"

"Sorry, if I...well I did..."

"Don't. It's my fault. I should have known you were having such a tough time sleep," I felt content that I got that weight off my chest surprisingly.

"I was talking about the kiss," and suddenly that weight came back to haunt me. "Why did you push me away like that? Didn't you kiss me first?"

I lifted myself off of Percy just enough to look him in the eyes, "I don't want you to like me as a charity case. I don't like to be pitied. Besides, I only kissed you because I thought you fell asleep."

"Is that suppose to make it better? And what if it was a real kiss? What if it wasn't pity? Ever thought of that? I want to give this a try Nico," Percy's words made my stomach fill with butterflies, but I still had doubt. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" There was a long pause while I thought about how to put such a thing in words, so I just shrugged. "Well, when did you realize you like me?" I sighed and thought about the first time Percy give me butterflies.

"I was in bed, and it was just a few days after you guy left for that quest...with Bianca. I was being good and getting along with people at camp, and while I was in bed one night I became very sick. I was in pain, my body tensed then released and it made me really weak so I ran to the bathrooms and hid in there. I honestly thought I would die, but now I realize it was my body reacting to Bianca dying. I felt so sick and so bad until...until I thought of you and that promise you made. You made me calm down and I guess that's when I started liking you. It broke my heart when you told me...when you..."

"I am so sorry. I never really forgave myself for doing that to you." Percy slouched into a deeper and darker hole, something I must do a lot.

"Stop that because, believe it or not, I forgave you," the look in his eyes when I sad that guilted me for not saying it earlier so I changed the subject. "What about Annabeth? What if she comes back?"

"She isn't. If she hated New Rome that much, she would be at Camp Half Blood by now. Besides, she kind of needed to go, for her family. I almost lived without my mom and I couldn't hold her back from her family," Percy gave a faint smile for his lost love. It must have hurt to have to lose someone you care about, maybe love, just from a distance. Percy perked up rather fast, "Maybe we can have dinner with my mom tonight if that's okay?" I smiled and nodded. Last I saw Percy's mom was his birthday, and she was a really sweet lady.

I took a deep breath and the initiative, leaned down and kissed Percy. This time I kissed him properly to make sure he would smile when I had the realization I might be a bad kisser. I slowly pulled away and looked Percy in the face. "Am I good at kissing?"

"Ha, yeah you are. Just inexperienced," I know my face must have resembled a tomato at his point. "But we have time to learn," Percy brushed his fingers across my cheek, tangled his fingers in my hair to get a good, strong grip to pull me in with a kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

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I sat comfortably in the seat of Percy's rincky van he borrowed from his mom. We locked up the cabin at the shore to visit his parents for dinner like I agreed. I, however, didn't agree to the two-hour car ride with a long stream if awkward silence. Well, awkward for me at least. Percy hummed to songs in his head and we would both steal glances at each other. He had a glow about him from the excitement of seeing his mom. If I remembered correctly, Sally Jackson was a modern day Madonna. Simply the perfect women who embodied everything I associated with a perfect mother. I was almost as giddy as he was to see her.

While on the way up to the apartment I found myself staring hopelessly at Percy and thought of how the evening would go down. All of which were extremely romantic, but wildly inaccurate. Still, I dreamed of a more forward and sincere me that would just say whatever was on my mind. Maybe I wouldn't have so many problems. I touched my bandanna that hide my poor skin and twisted my ring with anxiety. Percy sensed my tension and whispered, "Relax Nico, its just dinner. We stay, we eat and we leave." I took a deep breath I calm myself, but even that came out frazzled.

Percy walked in like he lived there which caught me off guard until I remembered he did live there. Percy just spent so much time I Camp Half-blood that it never occurred to me that he had another home. "Mom," Percy called, "it's me. And I brought Nico." I hovered closely to Percy as my only beacon of comfort. Sally rushed over and kissed Percy's cheek and then turned to me. I gave her my best smile even when she came in and pecked my cheek.

"Its so great to see you again. We aren't eating yet though," Sally's sweet voice and loving eyes made her kiss alright. I blushed and thanked her for letting me in for dinner. I stood back and watched as Percy and his mom had a small exchanged about Paul Blofis and what drinks to serve with dinner and what shows might be on tonight. I half listened until Percy invited me to his room. He took my hand and guided me to his room. I peeked over my shoulder to see if Sally was looking, but she was already back to the kitchen.

Once in the privacy of Percy's room I immediately started to search the room for something, but nothing in particular. The walls were all a dull color of beige and he had pictures on his wall of a younger Percy and his parents and old friends and even some of Annabeth. The sheets were mix matched and he had hung his camp necklace and charms. "I like your room. It's very...you." Percy chuckled and kicked a shoe box from underneath his bed. I crept closer, curious as to what he had.

"I wanna show you this. Come sit," Percy gestured to the bed and I sat down to look in the old, small shoe box with an odd collection of things. "This is a Minotaur horn. There is a scary story behind this," Percy explained and moved on with what else might be in the box. There was a gray streak of hair that used to be his, some divine pieces, a souvenir from the Argo Two. At the very bottom was some old photos of Percy and his friends at camp, including Annabeth and Grover when they were my age. He stopped and smiled from ear to ear, "And the rarest photo of all. Little Nico di Angelo. I had to trade chores with the Hermes cabin to get this once I saw it." My jaw dropped and I was shocked how different I looked. I had big cheeks, a teethy grin with crazy hair that could only have been made by swimming at the camp. I didn't recognize the picture itself, but it really was me in the picture. It must have been taken my first week at camp. "Crazy, right? You were so different then."

"I was so...ignorant back then. I was like a baby."

"You still are. I thought you were the biggest dork when I met you, it drove me crazy," Percy pushed me off with his shoulder and almost knocked me off the bed. I pushed back and got a warm feeling in my chest. His arm wrapped around my neck and he pulled me in.

I quickly realized what my favorite part of the kiss was. It was the moments before the kiss. The moments when I could feel his breath on my cheek and skin, and the tension between us the unbearable. I paused and I really wanted to pounce Percy like I have wanted to for years. Imaged having Percy to myself for months and I wanted every kiss from now on to matter. I leaned in slowly, letting his breath warm me. I rubbed my cheek and batted my eyelashes on his cheek and our noses touched before we kissed. When we did I felt a rush down my back. I just let Percy kiss me and take me down on his bed. His hands traveled from my cheek to my neck to my chest and farther down. I figured that where Percy touched me meant that it was okay to touch him there too. Thus, I found myself in my first make out session. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting and I was in a horribly awkward positions with how I was on top of his arm.

He suddenly stop and looked over his shoulder. "Paul is home," he looked back at me. "We should get up. Dinner is soon." Percy lifted me up with him. My whole body went numb and I was smiling ear to ear. "Are you...okay?" I wiggled my nose to try to shake off my grin and seem natural.

Right on time, Sally called the two of us to dinner. Percy popped up like we were still innocent and looking a box. Percy stopped me before I stepped out and grabbed something from his bedside table. He hesitated before showing me the small statue made of cheap tin, "Please do not throw this at me again, but it is here in case you ever want it." I staired a long time before it started to recognize it. It was my dad, but not really him. It actually didn't look like him at all. It was the Mythomagic version of my dad and it was rare.

"That is pretty cool. Where did you get it?" I really was curious as to where it came from. My geek side said that it was near impossible for Percy to just stumble on this. When I looked up at his face he looked really disappointed. He just swallowed and insisted we just go to dinner.

* * *

Everyone at dinner grabbed a platter of food to place on the table before sitting down. I chuckled at the irony of the Italian pasta and chicken with salad. I quietly watched as everyone became situated in their seats like I stood a yard back as this picture perfect gathering. My last family was...non-existent. While deep in thought over my lack of normal family functions, the three have turned their attention to me. I scrambled to the only empty seat right next to Percy. As quickly as everyone became seated the dinner conversations started up.

Turns out Paul was a teacher and was spending time teaching summer school for the first time. Meanwhile, Sally was on her way to publishing her first book. No one said it but it wasnt hard to put two and two together. They were saving up for Percy's furture and college just by the way the parents were jumping back and forth. Percy delicately played with his food as the dull conversation and his ADHA battled it out in his head. I knew he was doing that because I was doing it until the attention turned to me.

"So, Nico," Paul started, "how old are you?"

"Oh, I am only 14..." I wondered if 14 was an appropriate answer considering I might be older the Paul's actual parents.

"So will you be going into your freshman year or sophomore year?" Sally asked. I looked at Percy and uttered a jumble of nonsense before I remembered that they were high school terms. I secretly reached over and rested my fingers next to Percy's thigh for ease my discomfort.

"I haven't really been able to go to school with my living situation," I prayed that it was the end of that topic.

"What is your living situation? You don't go home to your mother after camp?" Paul asked. I wasnt upset by the question. He wasnt used to demigod lifestyles and he didnt know much about me.

I stuttered with my words while I thought of a way to say that my mom was dead and I lived with my dad if I wasnt at camp. Percy saved me and stepped in, "Nico...well, his mother passed away so he stayed at camp most of the time. When he isn't there though he is...with his dad."

Everyone stopped eating now and looked at me. "Your father in the underworld?" Sally finally said. Percy tried to subtly tell his mom to drop it but it wasnt subtle at all.

I shook my shoulders and sat up straight to try to seem, "This is incredible spaghetti ." Percy whispered 'Jackson' after I said her name. For a few minutes, conversation returned to normal and I sat back and listened. I felt so embarrassed about myself that my wrist started to burn. The rest of dinner went fine and Paul even offered me some wine. I was surprised that they give me a sip of wine and none for Percy. At the end of dinner, Sally and Paul stepped into the other room for a 'quick talk' while Percy scooped up some ice cream for everyone. "Your parents...think I am crazy."

"They do not. They just dont know you and they have only meant you twice. When they know the you I know, they will adore you like I do." Percy turned to me and smiled, "Can we stay the night here? I haven't been here since the nightmares." Percy had big eyes that just begged for me to say so I did. "Oh, and we can tell them about us whenever you are ready. I doubt they will mind."

I warmed up at his sweet voice, "Thanks...but we can tell them now, if you want. They are your parents after all."

"Alright. Lets tell them tonight," Percy placed all the ice cream down and kissed me. "I am glad we are doing this."

Sally and Paul pranced towards us, and Sally had a beautiful glow about her. "Nico, we were just talking and we thought that we would offer you a space in our home," Sally was all a jitter at the offer while Paul had his arm around her and smiled just as hard. "All you have to do is go to school, and, of course, follow our house rules."

Paul stepped in now, "We just know how close of friends you and Percy are and we thought we should give you a real chance to actually in the real world." Percy and I exchanged looks and both of our jaws were on the floor. I was blown away that they just offered me to live with them. "We know this is a big decision. Take your time and think about it but we can have a real bed for you soon and I can help you catch up in school."

Now, I knew this was a one time only offer, but I shouldn't live with my boyfriend. That wouldn't be respectable. Then again, I am usually the only one who thinks that way anymore. If we told them, would i no longer be allowed to live here and go to school?

"That's so great mom, but you should know," I kicked the seat to get him to shut up, but he continued, "Nico and I are sort of in a relationship." He turned to me and held my hand. My stomach dropped at the unknown reaction that would come from his parents.

They looked at each other and back to us, "We will have to set some ground rules but..." Paul scratched his beard but smiled.

"You really...I...I have to think about it, but thank you so much. I feel so...grateful," I squeezed Percy's hand and felt like I was going to explode out of my skin. Sally and Paul were grinning ear to ear like they were adopting me. Percy added to this excitement and kissed me in my lips in a very brave way. I am sure I was blushing like a bride.

* * *

Even though Percy and I confessed our feelings to his parents, they somehow let us stay in his room for the night. Percy was really worried about having nightmares and scaring his mother, which turns out to be the reason why he never stayed the night at his parents. I didnt mind sleeping over with Percy if it made him happy for a little bit. I was still in awe as we lay down for bed at his parents offer. I snuggled up to Percy in a very uncharacteristic way. I actually even took off my shirt for bed like Percy did just to see if he preferred that. If Percy and I were really trying this, that includes physical stuff too.

Physical...like sex.

No, no, no. I can't even begin to think that way. But how does a 14 year old boy not think about sex? He must think about it too, right?

"Will you actually think about moving in here?" Percy whispered. He had his arm wrapped around me so his hand could brush through my hair. "That would be nice...most days," he laughed.

"Shut up. It would be nice to stay somewhere that's not the underworld though." Still, I had an uneasy feeling about sharing a room with Percy Jackson for too long. I might be just old fashion, but I wanted some reassurance. "Percy, if it isn't too weird to ask, are you a virgin still?"

"Of course I am. After everything my mom put up with me, I can't risk knocking someone up or catching something nasty. I want to wait for someone who I trust wholeheartedly and it was too soon for Annabeth and I." I looked over and Percy had this starstruck look in his eyes, "Why are you curious? Wondering if you will be able to take my v-card?" I scoffed at his remark even if there was a hint of truth there. He laughed even harder and playfully bit my cheek. "Are you a virgin?"

"Yeah, but I dont really know how I want to give it up," I shifted towards Percy so we would be nose to nose. He looked so calm like this which reminded me of the ocean in a way but that wasnt surprising. I laid there for a while and just let Percy embrace me despite the fact I felt too hot. I was slowly realizing that this is what couples do, and I needed to be better about couples things. I tried to think of other things and keep my eyes closed in the hope of falling asleep before Percy grabbed my wrist.

He took off my bandanna with the most soothing touch and whispered little pleas to me to not do this again and see myself better. It took a while before I whispered to be better, to be healthy. I knew I had signed on for some long talks with Chiron, but Percy had a point. Cutting isn't healthy, but I can get better. After I agreed, I slowly kissed every scar I had, even the fresh need cut which send shots of pleasure through me. When he kissed all that he could, he left my hand on his shoulder and wrapped around me. One arms under my head and the other was around my waist. I moved in closer myself, pushed one leg between his and hoped he got my hints.

Luckily, he did kiss me. Our hands traveled each other while we frenched (I think) in Percy's bed. Occasionally, he would break off from my kiss to move to my ear, neck and even chest. I thought I should do the same but he had more experience then me so I let him take the lead for now. It was hard to compare the feeling to something and I had to think of other things when I started to feel too good. All my efforts to keep my erection away failed and Percy eventually felt it. He laughed and pull off of me, "It is okay. It happens."

He kissed me one last time before I fell asleep in his soft bed and strong arms.


End file.
